I Am Irelevant

He wants to be Desired, too. / He thinks he knows me /He screws me. He is THEY.
April 8, 2010, 9:30 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Found this written somewhere from a long time ago, you still think you know me, you tell me I can not tolerate “this”

R.E :
you like sexiness in all people, and find it pleasing just to look at it, without the goal of sex in mind
you like knowing people’s minds and getting inside their heads
you like songs about love, even if they’re sad
maybe because they’re sad.
you like concerning yourself with little things but hate how it affects you
you like the chase of a relationship and often find that it’s the challenge and the pursuit that satisfies you more, and most relationships aren’t quite as engaging in your experience as the events leading up to them

An Angry Mood led to an Uninhibited conversation last week

” I just want you to tolerate me. I want you to be bemused instead of mad at me. I want you to see me as capable despite my eccentricities. I want you to ponder me on occasion, I want you to be curious. I want you to want to try me, even though I look like trouble. I want you to consider me very attractive even though I don’t make much sense. I’d like you to not use my openness and inner monologues against me.”

I’d like to get to know you, peer at you with curious eyes. Dance briefly into your life and put cheap-ass Daffodills on your table and screw you and play music too loud and then leave and maybe come back and maybe not. That is my daydream, I have many daydreams about many people and they’re all different.”

And all my nerves and loudness and rough edges soften when someone is near me.
Me: I think partners being unkind to me has given me a need to feel desired.
C.C : I feel very much the same although i don’t know where my need sprung from, but it is probably the strongest force in my life.


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